Everyday Spirituality

One our many meals prepared together...

This week I have started a course for my MA on Everyday Spirituality. After listening to the first lecture I felt convicted on how much of everyday life I live disconnected to my faith. It was eye-opening to consider how my faith seems to bear little influence on daily experiences, such as cleaning the house, getting ready for work, sleeping or fixing a meal. I have reflected on how God is present on the daily experience of being married, sharing dinner and other earthly experiences, but I was not quite able to think beyond that. I feel invited to unlearn; I desire a more integrated life which is lived before God.  My first response is to do something, to add activities, for example, to adopt new spiritual disciplines but it feels as if God were inviting me to see Him in the most ordinary stuff of life. I do not know how to do this well. I have seen him in the University and I know he is present in the World and in suffering, but it is hard for me to see Him on other more “ordinary things” that are sometimes chaotic, frustrating or even embarrassing.

Abdiel and I in the car

In the last months I have felt some dissonance between my beliefs and the way I am living life; it is something like a holy inconformity. I have not even been able to explain it well because I do not quite get what is going on, but I think I have some clues. I have sensed God in the context of marriage even more clearly than in the context of ministry and I cannot even believe this! Student ministry is so awesome and there is so much energy, questions, challenges and stories in this type of work that I am surprised by this acknowledgment. This does not mean that one thing is more important than the other, but I do think that it says something about myself. Marriage has had a way of bringing me to face things that have to do with the core of being humans –relating to each other in profound ways-. I have seen how my identity is so tied to my work as a “Christian missionary” and I was not aware of it.

One of our views while running

Lately I have enjoyed common things like rest, play and meals, and it has been beautiful but also difficult. The hard part of it has been learning that I need to unlearn and allow God to define the important stuff of life, which does not necessarily mean the “public” or the “big” things that happen in ministry, but those ordinary situations that happen every day in which God is also present. I do not know very well where to start, but I am taking this class as a needed aid for discipleship in this new season in life. I pray for God´s discernment and for a renewed understanding of who God is and of life first and foremost before Him. 

U s // N o s o t r o s

Written for your birthday

   

I still remember that in our first month together I had some fear; I did not know what to expect or how we would face life. We both brought home our experiences, the advice of many, our anxieties, and the expectations we created together before or wedding, knowing they could change. We started building a relationship not defined by societal molds. We are creating our own culture at home in which every place is occupied by the both of us; I know you feel so comfortable cooking that I often see you dancing in the kitchen. The breakfast and coffee you leave ready for me each morning are my companions in thanking God for your life. You surprise me and make me laugh not only because you are creative with words, but also in how you show love and generosity. We shall continue building a culture that represents us, that is both hospitable and authentic. Let us continue imagining things differently, and erecting under new dreams and values

   

We are learning to celebrate day-to-day and to see God there. Since we married life on earth has not become easier nor has the country we inhabit become less violent, but by standing together the reality of an active God who is present everyday provides hope in the midst of pain and weakness. Our 9 months of living together have changed my perspective of life. I understand better and I am able to experiment the profound love of God. My common expectations are becoming not anymore defined by perfectionism, but more by love and life’s beauty. We have also not conformed to this world, as there is something flourishing from us that invites us to lament, compassion and action; we do not know where that will lead, but we ask that it will lead us courageously. Now I think in plural, and I guess there is something innately divine in that, as I surrender a bit of my selfishness, and think of you; then it is easier to think of others… I know you enjoy a tranquil evening, a chai tea, a good move in bed, to talk abbout the world or writing poetry.

        Life is better at your side; it is richer, more abundant and different. I never thought that the fundamentals in our pantry would be coffee, milk and bananas, nor that it would be so important for me to receive a kiss from you every morning, but I like it. Love transforms us and has done something in me in little time that I hope to understand later on. Since I am with you I know myself better and even though you bring the best of me, I also discover other things that hurt which require healing and accepatance in order to live life more fully. We have learned that we need to remember rest and actually do it. Both of us, as sons and daughters of our generation, have our identity linked with what we do and we do not know how to stop in the midst of the violent speed of everything that never halts. We are learning to disconnect ourselves from work, to be human, together, and to rediscover the natural rhythms of life, letting go our desires for control of the future, with less fear, more love and greater faith.

       Fortunately, this opportunity to grow in love, trust, compassion, forgiveness, generosity and service start with you and besides you. I have the occasion of extending all this grace to you, to receive from you and to –together- embrace the world. I would not want to do it with anyone else. I love you.